March 13, 2022 Lent 2
First Lesson: Philippians 3:17- 4:1
17 Brothers and sisters, join in imitating me, and observe those who live according to the example you have in us. 18 For many live as enemies of the cross of Christ; I have often told you of them, and now I tell you even with tears. 19 Their end is destruction; their god is the belly; and their glory is in their shame; their minds are set on earthly things. 20 But our citizenship is in heaven, and it is from there that we are expecting a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. 21 He will transform the body of our humiliation that it may be conformed to the body of his glory, by the power that also enables him to make all things subject to himself. 4 1 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, my beloved.
Second Lesson: Luke 13:31-35
At that very hour some Pharisees came and said to him, “Get away from here, for Herod wants to kill you.”
He said to them, “Go and tell that fox for me, ‘Listen, I am casting out demons and performing cures today and tomorrow, and on the third day I finish my work. Yet today, tomorrow, and the next day I must be on my way, because it is impossible for a prophet to be killed outside of Jerusalem.’
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! See, your house is left to you. And I tell you, you will not see me until the time comes when you say, ‘Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord.'”
Who here likes to feel shame? Raise your hand if shame is your thing. Before you do, I am not asking, do you feel shame. I am asking if you like feeling shame. No hands…. Now would you like to find a way to never feel shame again? Raise your hand. Have you found a good way to do that? You are not alone.
Dr. Brene Brown has devoted her career to studying shame and describes shame this way. “When the shame winds are whipping all around me, it’s almost impossible to hold on to any perspective or to recall anything good about myself. I went right into the bad self-talk of God, I’m such an idiot. Why did I do that?” (The Gifts of Imperfection, p. 9). Shame creates that negative self-talk. I can relate to that, even though I want you to think, I have it all together. But that is the nature of shame, hiding our true selves so that we can control what others think of us. Yet no matter how hard we try; we cannot control much of anything. Hence the title of the sermon, “So Much Is Out of Our Control.”
Paul wrote about shame and transforming your humiliation into glory an idea that is very tempting. But this happened within an invitation to imitate Paul, imitating Christ. To be a citizen of heaven expecting a Savior and not worry about the messiness of this world.
But our world feels messy right now. The war in Ukraine rages on with no end in sight tragically taking the lives of women and children, inflation is making everything more expensive, disease disrupts our lives and COVID still haunts us. We can’t control any of this. But that does not mean we don’t try. Try to stay safe, try to make things happen. We know we can’t control war and disease, but that does not keep us from trying to exert control in our lives. Control how our children behave, control what people think of us, control a specific outcome. Brown writes, “Being ‘in control’ isn’t (just) about the desire to manipulate situations, but often it’s about the need to manage perception. We want to be able to control what other people think about us so we can feel good enough” (The Gifts of Imperfection, p. 121). We control so we can feel good enough.
Shame keeps us from feeling good enough and we try to control things, so we don’t feel shame.
Groucho Marx said, “Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.” A bit of levity as we discuss a hard topic, our desire for control. A desire to control also shows up in the gospel lesson. Herod wants to kill Jesus, that is some serious control. Jesus wants to gather Jerusalem under his wings, but they are having none of that. Jesus even talks about today and tomorrow, how often we try to control the way things play out. Yet Jesus knows Jerusalem kills prophets, he knows that God has called him here, and he still wants to protect and love the people, to gather them in like a hen gathers her brood. That is not control, but compassion. Yet, Jesus may have even felt frustrated that he could not keep his people safe, could not control them.
What do you try to control? What might your best friend say you try to control? Are your efforts at controlling things couched in the desire that things go well or improving the other person? Does control come from your sense of responsibility? We rarely talk about this topic and yet I think we all have areas of our lives that we try to control. Our weight, our children, our careers. And as I have already said, sometimes we try to control because we don’t feel good enough.
This week a found a handwritten note in one of my devotional books. It said, “I admit I am powerless over feeling I am never enough.” Below that I wrote, how this affects me “Trust and Control.” I really did not want to share this, but I realized that it is in admitting that we all have these feelings of not enough-ness, that we can find strength in our weakness. We are all vulnerable and we all simply want to be loved and accepted as we are. Controlling is really misplaced hustling to feel good about ourselves.
But we have struggled with this since the beginning. We have tried to find solace in our religion. Diana Butler Bass wrote, “I wish our ancestors were not afraid of God in the garden. Temptation led to moral failure, moral failure to shame, and shame to avoiding the sacred presence. Our shame over our failings separates us from love. I have sometimes “hidden” inside of buildings and rituals to protect me from an encounter with the sacred in the world. “Safe” religion is a form of taking cover in the trees, and it is odd that we can use even church to avoid being face-to-face with the Holy One” (The Cottage, 3.8.22). Here Butler Bass pulls back the veil of hiding in our faith to feel good enough about ourselves. We long to be holy, we long to be good enough, we long to feel sanctified in God’s sight. Marcia McFee reminds us, “And yet, if we worry less about our own sanctification and more on treating the world, the planet, and all the creatures, especially those who are suffering, as holy and worthy of our love, then we will be acting on what we can control, sharing what we have with others.”
We can show love and compassion. We can see the gifts in other people, rather than trying to control them or the outcome. I don’t know about you, but I would like to be a hen like Jesus, showing the compassion of a mother gathering all the people of Ukraine into safety. Holding the brood of this nation under our wings, protecting them from the savagery of war. One commentator writes, “Do you long to be like Jesus, to be able to find compassion for our enemies, even those who want to put us to death? In this world of religious and political violence, what does it mean to long for our enemies to experience Jesus’ compassion even as we ourselves have?… In this season of Lent, as we contemplate the ministry and passion of Jesus, we must also remember that…Jesus’ longing is to have compassion, but his longing must be met by our own longing for salvation, deliverance, and healing. (Working Preacher, Ruth Anne Reese)
We can’t control the war, but we can give.
We can’t control our health, but we can practice healthy behaviors.
We can’t control our holiness, but we can seek God’s presence.
We can’t control our family, but we can show compassion and love.
Kate Bowler writes, “So little is in our control, but then again, so little ever was. The living and breathing and struggling and crying and teaching and trying and dying. This is the life we have, in skin and bones, living” (Good Enough, 210). May we all embrace our skin and bones living, knowing that we are enough as we head towards the cross, and await Jesus’ resurrection. Amen.
Prayers of the People
Loving God,
We pray for the people of Ukraine,
for all those suffering or afraid,
that you will be close to them and protect them.
We pray for world leaders,
for compassion, strength and wisdom to guide their choices.
We pray for the world
that in this moment of crisis,
we may reach out in solidarity
to our brothers and sisters in need.
May we walk in your ways
so that peace and justice
become a reality for the people of Ukraine
and for all the world. Amen.
(from the Catholic Agency for Overseas Development)
