August 28, 2022 St. Andrew Church Rev. Anne McAnelly
First Lesson: Proverbs 25:6-7
6 Do not put yourself forward in the king’s presence or stand in the place of the great, 7 for it is better to be told, “Come up here,” than to be put lower in the presence of a noble.
On one occasion when Jesus was going to the house of a leader of the Pharisees to eat a meal on the Sabbath, they were watching him closely.
7 When he noticed how the guests chose the places of honor, he told them a parable. 8 “When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, do not sit down at the place of honor, in case someone more distinguished than you has been invited by your host, 9 and the host who invited both of you may come and say to you, ‘Give this person your place,’ and then in disgrace you would start to take the lowest place. 10 But when you are invited, go and sit down at the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher’; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. 11 For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
12 He said also to the one who had invited him, “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers and sisters or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. 13 But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. 14 And you will be blessed because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”
When the boys and I were visiting London riding the trains, I was so proud of Parker when we gave his seat to an older woman who boarded the train after we did but did not have a place to sit. Cooper was willing too. I did not have to ask him to do this, he just saw the need and responded. I think many of us have had times when we were the one who volunteered our seat and maybe also have had a kind person volunteer their seat, for us to sit. Surrendering seats in public places is a way of showing respect and honoring those who are older or less stable than you. This simple action shows a humility, a modest view of one’s own importance, especially in comparison to another. Because let’s face it, we don’t always give up our seats on a packed train. We look at the other person and evaluate them to see what feels right. Maybe we give our seat to a young person on crutches, or a mother holding a baby and all the gear, or an older man with a cane. It feels good to give your seat to someone. It can also be a blessing when a kind soul gives their seat to you.
Both passages speak of evaluating ourselves in relation to seating. Jesus speaks of where guests sit at a party. He is addressing the status seeking baked into social situations at that time. Everyone wanted to be seated at the place of honor because this was an honor/shame society. The higher up you sat, the greater status was inferred. Sound familiar? Today we see that with VIP seating at concerts, courtside seating at the game- the place people want to be seen based on where they sit. Jesus is teaching us to have a humbled view of ourselves rather than striving to work your way up the seating chart to only be dishonored when asked to be moved down when a person of greater import arrives. Being asked to give up your distinguished seat at the table would feel a whole lot worse than voluntarily surrendering your seat on a train. The difference here is agency and awareness. If we are self-absorbed and only looking out for ourselves, we can find ourselves overreaching, over seating ourselves, and then having to face the shame of being demoted. But if we hold ourselves in a humble state, aware of those around us and willing to be reseated, if asked by the host, we will do well. It is the struggle between pride and humility.
Proverbs is about seating, but on a deeper level it is about how we see ourselves, especially in relationship to others. Our pride often gets in the way and wants us to reach higher. We all know we should not elevate ourselves, but sometimes we forget and need to be reminded.
I was asked to pray at a good friend’s installation as president of her county bar association. We had dinner at a lovely country club on Long Island. I was honored to be asked to attend and to pray. But as we were finding our seats at the tables, I chose a seat at a side table, knowing that my friend Michele would have her family and colleagues seated near her. But she came over to me and asked me to sit at her table, the place of honor. I felt blessed and honored.
Humility is freedom from pride and arrogance, it is holding oneself with rightsized regard, and accepting yourself as you are. When we are humble, we are not always trying to get others to notice us, or like us, but are content with who we are and where we fit. Being humbled, as Jesus spoke of it, is something different. It is when someone takes you down a notch, often involving shame or demotion. Jesus is teaching us to have humility so that we will not be humbled when we self-assert higher than our station. Jesus said, “For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted” (v. 11).
“Mother Teresa was once asked, ‘How do you measure the success of your work?’ She thought about the question and gave her interviewer a puzzled look, and said, ‘I don’t remember that the Lord ever spoke of success. He spoke only of faithfulness in love. This is the only success that really counts.’ I think Mother Teresa would point to this story in Luke to justify that response. Jesus is saying in essence, don’t do things that bring you the honor (among people), do things for which God will honor you.” (Sermons.com, Brett Blair)
I like the story historians tell about the funeral of Charlemagne. Charlemagne was the greatest Christian ruler of the early Middle Ages. After his death a mighty funeral procession left his castle for the cathedral at Aix. When the royal casket arrived, with a lot of pomp and circumstance, it was met by the local bishop, who barred the cathedral door.
“Who comes?” the Bishop asked, as was the custom.
“Charlemagne, Lord and King of the Holy Roman Empire,” proclaimed the Emperor’s proud herald.
“Him I know not,” the Bishop replied. “Who comes?”
The herald, a bit shaken, replied, “Charles the Great, a good and honest man of the earth.”
“Him I know not,” the Bishop said again. “Who comes?”
The herald, now completely crushed, responded, “Charles, a lowly sinner, who begs the gift of Christ.”
To which the Bishop, Christ’s representative, responded, “Enter! Receive Christ’s gift of life!”
Even Charlemagne in all his glory and good works could not assume a position of honor. I am convinced that the more honor is due us the more we should resist it. Does that mean we shouldn’t be proud of our accomplishments. Not at all. But we should not seek the accolades that come with success. The book of Proverbs has a terse reminder for us all: Pride comes before a fall. (Sermons.com, Brett Blair)
True humility empowers us to serve. Today we ordained and installed Coty to be a deacon to our congregation. She will be a gifted deacon. Deacons offer themselves as a way of being of service. They take the time to call or reach out to the people in their neighborhoods once a month, because they care and want to connect with you. So, I encourage you to receive their care as a way of being rightsized and real. I think sometimes we don’t share ourselves with our deacons because we don’t want to bother them or share true selves. But I believe admitting we are hurting when a loved one is sick or that we struggle with one of our children and asking our deacon to pray for us, is a beautiful way of showing humility. These honest simple acts of reaching out and sharing, and build community, help us to pray for one another. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. understood, “Our goal is to create a beloved community and this will require a qualitative change in our souls as well as a quantitative change in our lives” (Working Preacher, Emerson Powery). Deacons help support a connected and beloved community. I hope the next time your deacon calls you, you will take the time to respond, share, even if it is only to say my week is going well, and could you pray for my child, my hurting knee, or my work situation. You don’t need to say more unless you want to. By humbly opening up, you are helping to create a beloved community.
We also might want to consider how we practice humility.
Here are three ideas you might want to try: 1. Spend time listening to others. Listening gets you outside of yourself and helps you to be right sized and to show compassion. 2. Be grateful for what you have. When we are in a place of gratitude, pride is usually at bay, and humility is cultivated. 3. Ask for help when you need it. We like helping others but often feel like we should not need help ourselves. But that is just our pride talking.
Have you seen the commercial with a man pulling the cord of his parachute to discover no chute deploys. A woman is skydiving nearby and offers help and he says no I don’t want to ruin your experience. We laugh because it is so true. Even when we truly need help, we worry about the other person.
We all need help. Humility enables us to ask for help!
To recap how to practice humility: spend time listening, be grateful and ask for help. When you do, you will reduce your pride and grow in humility. Amen.
