June 20, 2021 Father’s Day
Scripture Proverbs 23:22-26
Listen to your father who begot you,
and do not despise your mother when she is old.
23 Buy truth, and do not sell it;
buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding.
24 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice;
he who begets a wise son will be glad in him.
25 Let your father and mother be glad;
let her who bore you rejoice.
26 My child, give me your heart,
and let your eyes observe my ways.
Renown columnist Erma Bombeck wrote her way into our lives for over 30 years as columnist. Starting in 1965 Bombeck earned a beloved place in American hearts as she gave voice to family life. On this Father’s Day I want to share one of her takes on Fatherhood. “When the good Lord was creating Fathers he started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said, “What kind of Father is that? If you’re going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put Fathers up so high? He won’t be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping.” And God smiled and said, “Yes, but if I make him child-size, who would children have to look up to?”
And when God made a Father‘s hands, they were large and sinewy. And the angel shook her head sadly and said, “Do you know what you’re doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can’t manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats.” And God smiled and said, “I know, but they’re large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day…yet small enough to cup a child’s face in his hands.”
And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. And the angel nearly had a heart attack. “Boy, this is the end of the week, all right,” she clucked. “Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?” And God smiled and said, “A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, and hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus.”
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. “That’s not fair. Do you honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?” And God smiled and said, “They’ll work. You’ll see. They’ll support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury Cross, or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill.”
God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained calm and tolerant.
Finally, almost as an afterthought, he added tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, “Now, are you satisfied that he can love as much as a Mother?” The angel shuteth up” (sermons.com).
I love this account even if it has some dated images of fatherhood. It reminds us with humor of all the tasks and expectations for fathers. It speaks to the fatherly way love is shown, even as those roles are changing today. It also connects our fathers with our Heavenly Father which I think resonates with how we understand both of our parents as well as the divine.
Our Scripture passage speaks to the rolls of fathers and wonderfully includes mothers in the mix. It respects that parenting is a two-person job and each person brings their own gifts. Parenting is not gender limited, even though today we are honoring Dads. I know I have had to be a mom and a dad for my boys at times and am grateful for all that their dad has taught them.
Teaching our children is the first point of Proverbs. Listen and Learn. I think that odd sentence about buying truth, understanding and wisdom is really about teaching our children. Can you think of a favorite saying of your father? Or that moment he sat you down to have a talk and the lessons you walked away with. I know the thing my boys learned most from their dad is good old Southern manners. “Yes, Ma’am” and “No sir” and all the courtesies that follow. They don’t say it much here in California, but I am so proud of them when the need arises, and they shine ever so brightly. Just as proverbs says, “Parents rejoice when their children turn out well” (The Message, v. 25). I got to rejoice this week when my sons helped move some furniture to make room for a hospital bed, so a church member could come home. They did a great job and we all enjoyed a wonderful lunch of BBQ sandwiches afterwards. But when the member shared her compliments of their character that shined through as they were moving things, that is when I truly rejoiced!
As parents we hope our children learn from us, we pray they will turn out ok, we strive to provide them with a moral, Christian, and academic education. But we can only really rejoice when we see our children through the eyes of others, see the paths that they chose and the choices they make.
Eugene Peterson updates this proverb into modern language in the Message Bible. “Listen with respect to the father who raised you, and when your mother grows old, don’t neglect her. Buy truth-don’t sell it for love or money; buy wisdom, buy education, buy insight. Parents rejoice when their children turn out well; wise children become proud parents. So make your father happy! Make your mother proud! Dear child, I want your full attention; please do what I show you.”
I love that last line. It works as well coming from a father as it does from God. It reminds us that even as we try our best to be good parents, ultimately, we get to give our children into God’s hands, into God’s care. We teach our children, we love them, we have dreams for them, and yet they are their own people. How many of us parents have prayed, “My child, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways (v. 26). We hope our children see the best we have to offer. It is interesting that the word “observe” can also be translated as “delight in.” I love the idea that we delight in the ways of God and in the ways of our father and mother.
Sandra Palmer Carr in The Upper Room tells about rocking her younger son Boyd, then four years old, in a high-backed wooden rocking chair. Boyd was facing his Mom as they rocked, his legs folded at the knee.
Suddenly, he lifted his small head, stared straight at his mother, and became very still. Then he cupped her face in his tender little hands and said almost in a whisper, “Mommy, I’m in your eyes.” He had seen his own reflection in his mother’s eyes, and this strangely affected him. Mother and son stayed in that same position for several long moments as the rocking stopped and the room grew quiet. “And I’m in yours,” his mother said. Then he leaned his head against her contentedly, and she resumed rocking and singing. Occasionally, in the days that followed, Boyd would check to see if his discovery was lasting. “Am I still in your eyes, Mommy?” he would ask as he reached up for her.
Boyd learned to love from his mom. Let me say that again: Boyd learned to love from his mom. Each of us learn to love the same way. From Mom. From Dad, from Grandparents, a favorite uncle. Each of us has our own story to tell. We saw ourselves in someone else’s eyes. As we learned, we lived the words, “My child, give me your heart, and let your eyes delight in my ways. We learned to love.
But where did such love originate? The epistle of John tells us it originated with God who is the source of love. “We love because God first loved us” (4:19).
“In life’s uncertain moments,” writes Sandra Carr, “it is comforting to know I am still in my heavenly Father‘s eyes.” Love is something you learn” (Sermons.com, King Duncan).
Thank you to all the fathers who taught us how to love, who stooped down low to meet us as children, and gave us big shoes to fill as we grew. Thank you to all the fathers who we love and miss, especially on this Father’s Day. We are so grateful for all you gave us. And finally thank you to our Heavenly Father who first loved us so that we can teach love to our children. Amen.
