Have you ever reached your breaking point? A time when you say, “That is enough, I am done! I can’t do this anymore.” Life just feels too hard to keep going and you want to give up. It happened to me when my mother’s cancer returned and I was told she was terminal and my boyfriend, who later became my husband, broke up with me all while I was trying to get through seminary far from home. In that moment I felt hopeless and alone. My previous accomplishments and confidences withered. What mattered in that moment was could I show up and face life.
Elijah, one of the most powerful prophets, had one of those moments when he did not want to show up. He had just courageously defeated 450 prophets from Baal, a Canaanite god of fertility and storms. A god that Jezebel, the wife of King Ahab, worshiped. He defeated them by calling down fire from God, then slaying them with a sword. Listen now for how Elijah and God show up or not. 1 Kings 19:1-16
Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life like the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” 3 Then he was afraid; he got up and fled for his life, and came to Beer-sheba, which belongs to Judah; he left his servant there.
4 But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die: “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the broom tree and fell asleep. Suddenly an angel touched him and said to him, “Get up and eat.” 6 He looked, and there at his head was a cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. He ate and drank, and lay down again. 7 The angel of the Lord came a second time, touched him, and said, “Get up and eat, otherwise the journey will be too much for you.” 8 He got up, and ate and drank; then he went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb the mount of God. 9 At that place he came to a cave, and spent the night there.
Then the word of the Lord came to him, saying, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 10 He answered, “I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away.”
11 He said, “Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; 12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 14 He answered, “I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away.” 15 Then the Lord said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus; when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael as king over Aram. 16 Also you shall anoint Jehu son of Nimshi as king over Israel; and you shall anoint Elisha son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah as prophet in your place.
Elijah showed up courageously while facing the 450 prophets, but when his life was threatened, not so much. God who had shown up in fire when called to defeat the prophets of Baal, does not show up in fire here, or in the wind or in the earthquake, but rather in the silence. We don’t show up the same way every time and neither does God. I find comfort in that.
I do not have to be strong all the time. I don’t have to be politically correct all the time. There might be times when an adversary feels so overwhelming that you want to find a solitary tree and curl up under it and hope to die. Just like Elijah.
The adversary who is seeking your life might be cancer, loneliness, dementia, or a long recovery period. Or you might be the one caring for a loved one facing this foe. You carry the burden just the same. You might say I’ve had enough. Just like Elijah. Honor those feelings. Don’t hide from them. The Bible shows us this example so that we know we are not alone when those feelings come and that there will be another day. For Elijah, he was called to anointing the next generations of leaders. He was given a purpose, a new direction in his life and he could crawl out of the pit. So can you.
But I also want to note something here- and this might not be politically correct. Did you hear what I call Elijah’s pity pot story? His litany of woes, all that he has done: his zeal for the Lord, how Israel has forsaken God’s covenant, how he is alone and his life is threatened. All of that is true. But there is a victim feel to it, the way he tells the story, the way it doesn’t change even after he encounters God. He is very attached to his “poor me” story, his pity pot story. I think we can do the same thing; we get attached to all that is going wrong in our lives.
We replay the litany in our head over and over again. We also might tell the litany to anyone who will listen so much so that we might miss it when God is actually intervening to show us another way.
It’s like the familiar story of a man trapped on his roof from flooding. This religious man trusted God to rescue him. A neighbor came by in a canoe and said, “The waters will soon be above your house. Hop in and we’ll paddle to safety.” “No thanks” replied the religious man. “I’ve prayed to God and I’m sure he will save me”
A short time later the police came by in a boat. “The waters will soon be above your house. Hop in and we’ll take you to safety.”
“No thanks” replied the religious man. “I’ve prayed to God and I’m sure he will save me”
All this time the floodwaters continued to rise, until soon they reached above the roof and the religious man drowned. When he arrived at heaven, he asked to see God. Ushered in he said, “Lord, why am I here in heaven? I prayed for you to save me from that flood.”
“Yes you did my child” replied the Lord. “And I sent you a canoe and a boat. But you never got in.” Let’s not be so attached to our pity pot story that we miss God and the solutions offered.
Elijah had a vulnerable moment when he did not feel like he could show up but then he encountered God and God gave him hope and purpose; he went on to anoint prophets and kings.
God showed up in interesting ways too. First God appeared through the ministration of the angel who cared for Elijah, giving him bread and water. Food, direction and encouragement that sustained him as he journeyed towards God. In the same way, God will provide the basics of life even when we feel like our life is over.
Secondly, God asked a direct question, twice. God asked Elijah, “What are you doing here?” I don’t know about you, but I would never want to hear those words from God. Was Elijah in the wrong place? He had fled the Northern kingdom where he had defeated the prophets of Baal with fire. Where he had demanded them to repent, leave Baal and return to God. Now he was hiding in the southern kingdom of Judah seeking solace from God. So, in a way he was in the wrong place. We can get off track too, and God gently helps lead us back to God’s way.
Then we see the real way God shows up. It is certainly not the way anyone would expect. God has been revealed in fire while defeating the prophets, God has been revealed in wind while breathing life into humanity, and God has been revealed in earthquakes when Paul and Silas are freed from prison. But in this moment God showed up differently. God is revealed in silence; “the sound of sheer silence.” The KJV calls this “still small voice” while NIV refers to “gentle whisper.” God appears in a sound, a voice, a whisper, a silence. The adjective used means thin, small, fine or sheer. The Hebrew actually says, “a sound of gentle stillness,” or better yet, “the sound of fine silence.” There is a gentleness in this phrase, a calming presence in the way God appears.
This is no accident.
Elijah didn’t need drama.
He didn’t need fire, wind or earthquake.
He was defeated, he had had enough, heck he was hiding in a cave. Isn’t that how it feels when we are feeling not enough, like we want to quit. So God draws Elijah out of his cave, out of his darkness and comes to Elijah in the silence. One author wrote, “Silence is something more than just a pause; it is that enchanted place where space is cleared and time is stayed and the horizon itself expands. In silence, we often say, we can hear ourselves think; but what is truer to say is that in silence we can hear ourselves not think, and so sink below ourselves into a place far deeper than mere thought allows.” Silence invites us into a more conscious connection with God. With all the noise, the electronics, the sound bites in our world, let us remember that God chose to meet Elijah in the sound of fine silence. God called him out of his hiding place, loved him so much as to gently touch his soul with sheer silence. While God does reveal the truth sometimes in the strong wind, sometimes in the earthquake, sometimes in the fire, many times God is in the voice of gentle stillness. God will come to us and refresh us and renew us, because our God is a personal God of caring and communication who wants us to be our best.
Spend some quality time in silence and see how God shows up! Amen.
