In my class on relationships, we did an exercise of sharing things we wanted the other person to know. Not too hard. I’d say something and then I would learn something about the other person. Then we were asked to share things you don’t want the person to know. Frank and I were paired up and being an engineer, he had a hard time with these instructions. He got stuck. He thought, “If I don’t want you to know something, why would I share?” So I reframed it for him. Share things that you would prefer the other person did not know. All of a sudden Frank could do the exercise. We were both sharing things we would usually not share about ourselves with someone we had just met. Language is important. How we ask is important.
The Psalmist shares her experience with the Lord and with people in her life saying, “I walk in my integrity… and in faithfulness to you O Lord.” She trusts in the Lord without wavering and wants to prove herself to God. She claims, even boasts, about her right relation with God and then swears off the un-godly: worthless, hypocrites, evildoers and wicked. In contemporary verbiage she is using “I statements” and claiming her power: what she will and will not do. So often in communication classes we are taught to use “I statements” so that the other person cannot discount you or your feelings because they are yours. (Saying, “I feel ignored when you spend the whole evening watching television, is very different than “You love that TV more than me.” The first shares feelings and the second just accuses the other.) Of course, if you are arguing and say, “You always do that…” or “You should… (fill in the blank)” the I-statements get lost; communication breaks down.
Paul shares similar ideas found in the psalm about love and avoiding evil, but he communicates in a very different style. In our passage from Romans there is only one I-statement but there are 23 imperatives. Imperatives create a “grammatical mood that expresses the will to influence the behavior of another.” Bluntly put, imperatives are commands. “Love, hate, serve, contribute.” All worthwhile advice but we respond to imperatives differently. Do you resist a bunch of “shoulds”? Or maybe you feel like you have a clear directive from God in these teachings? I know I respond best to a positive role model much like the psalmist and then given the opportunity to emulate that rather than being told I should do something. What works best for you?
Paul asks, no demands, a lot from us. Three points I want to share about his wise words. First he seeks genuine love. It actually translates as “un-hypocritical” love, which I think is brilliant. Consider those you love and ask yourself, “Do you love them in an un-hypocritical way?” Are you clinging to good, being affectionate, showing honor, being attentive and devoted. Or are trite arguments and willful battles getting in your way. If this is the case pray for God to increase your genuine love and engage with hope for the future.
The second point deals with evil. First we are told to hate evil, to not repay evil for evil, then we are to feed our enemies overcoming evil with good. That certainly is a tall order. One commentator wondered, “What on earth it would mean to feed the Taliban or give Al-Qaeda something to drink?” (Feasting on the Word, A4, pg. 17). Could you do that? Would we do that? Scripture certainly is asking us to be willing to set our hostilities aside and in generosity of heart offer food or drink to those we consider enemies. I mentioned the political enemies but the principle applies to the people we don’t get along with in everyday life. The person who is a pain in your side at work, the ex-friend who is spreading lies about you, the person who broke up your marriage. Can you give this person food? Paul calls us to do exactly that.
Finally we get to the single I-statement and this one comes from God. “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” It is not for you or me to take vengeance on anyone. That belongs to God. If we trust God will make things right in the end, it certainly makes giving a drink to an enemy much more palatable; but definitely not easy. How are we to “never avenge ourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God”? That means we believe in a wrathful God, one who punishes without mercy. I don’t subscribe to that. I believe in a just God, one who will settle things in God’s way and time, but vengeance is not a trait I ascribe to God. Yet if I listen to the I statement from God who am I to say no. Clearly God does not want me taking hurtful matters into my own hands and causing harm. Yet what can I say to people who have suffered grave injustices. What I say is, we are to work for justice and trust that ultimately God will handle things. I guess that is why this modern translation speaks to me, “Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”
Much like in Lecitio Divina, which is an ancient way of reading and meditating on scripture when you read a passage several times seeing how a word or phrase speaks to you, I want to reread this same passage as translated by Eugene Peterson – I just quoted it above. He is a New Testament scholar who writes in the vernacular and it just may just help you hear God’s word in a new light. He wrote a contemporary version of the Bible called the Message; listen to his take on Paul’s words from Romans.
“Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it.
Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.
Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame.
Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant.
Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder.
Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath.
Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down.
Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up.
Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.
Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone.
If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody.
Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do.
I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”
Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch,
or thirsty, get him a drink.
Your generosity will surprise him with goodness.
Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good” (pg.1762). Amen.
